Thursday, January 22, 2009

In Which *ZOMG!* OBAMA~~

I am so excited about Obama being President now. It seemed only like a dream even when he was President Elect, but now that he's actually in office... I'm giddy!

Mr. President, this annoying, Pagan, Hispanic Vivi, wishes you the best of luck and support all around you in your next four years of being in office~~<3

Friday, January 9, 2009

In Which I Post up Picture Day from Last Year

What can I say? That day will forever be ingrained into my memory.

Why so sad? Lets put a smile on that face! lol

come on people i want a picture!


Oi... listen to me...

Come on guys! PHOTO TIME!


wait... Jane what are you DOING!?


Thursday, January 8, 2009

In Which I Take The ColorGenics Test...

Vivi's Results: (how utterly eerie)

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

Now there are many things in life that you require as essential to your well-being but, try as you may, something always seems to be getting in your way. A word of advice - 'keep trying' and you may be pleasantly surprised to see just how matters turn out.

You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

In Which I Ask Myself, Why Am I Depressed? I talk to the one I love

There should be no reason as to why I have started becoming depressed. It angers me, that horrible empty feeling in my chest, the way my throat seems to collapse into my lungs. It makes me feel sick. And then the hopelessness... the thoughts: Worthless, Hopeless, Cold-hearted Bitch.

Only serving to remind me what a spoiled person I am. What reason do I have to pity myself? My life is nothing compared to other people. I have a family, a person who loved me, and yet I throw it all away for self pity, self hatred.

And perhaps I am the selfish little worm that they seem so keen on calling me, eh, M? Who are you to say I am a loving and gentle person when all I have showed you are my sneers and and the threat of the back of my hand? You are a fool. And I am a fool for having lost you in the midst of my idiotic anger. My misunderstanding of you trying to help me. And now all I have is the fading memory of everything we all used to do those few years we were together. As friends. As a brother and sister to me, and you.. Damn your kindness.

Why did you have to go and clean all the cobwebs from around my mind and oil my heart so that it worked? You know I was perfectly content to let them sit in a shelf for the rest of my life, completely unused until I died. Now that they work, my memories and emotions...

You know what, M? Enough of this. Let me quit you!But even though I try to walk away, there is the weight of you memories tied to my fingers. Even when I write I see you in the letters, hear you in the lyrics of totally irrelevant songs. Who could know that I'm too Sexy for my shirt would have me remember the way you laughed... much more that I never really gave you reason to laugh. What the hell was your problem, to say you loved a wholly unattractive unsociable unsympathetic person like me? God, I threatened to maim you so many times that even I would have maimed myself from frustration.

And how I thwart myself in all emotional senses. How I wish I could meet you again. Some way. And yet I know if that ever be the case I would ultimately spurn you all over again. Why? Maybe because I'm an idiot that way, despite wishing you could hug me all over again, or even hold my had for a little while... I guess I'm just too afraid to admit it.

"Ah!", you may say if you were alive, "but you have just admitted it, mon amour." and then I'd get pissed, cuz you know how I hate to be wrong, right? And in the end, you died, and I ended up alone again, with people i should trust but wont let myself. Because nobody takes me as seriously as you did, because to everybody I'm just funny cheerful, Vivi. The girl who hates her own race, she who's nice to people when she feels like it, the artist, the writer. And thats the way that ot's been since you died.

So now I wait for the moment when another person will reach in to find the lobster, eh M? remember the lobster? It has a hard shell on the outside, but is soft and liquidy inside. Crack that lobster to find that maybe im just a depressed, angry person that people take for granted as that annoying person who just wont stop talking! One day maybe I'll have the chance to be you, and then Ill know how much I made you suffer with my anger and selfishness, but for now I can only wish beyond hope that I'll find you again. If only in my memories.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

In Which I have No Idea What a Dosha is...

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.

You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.

Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.

But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

In Which I Became a Cat.

You Are a Ragdoll Cat

You are extremely cute and cuddly. You are downright adorable.

Your personality matches your exterior. You are very laid back and sweet.

You don't really like the outdoors. You prefer to stay inside where it's cozy.

Luckily, you are the perfect houseguest. You are polite and obedient.