In Which...

This, like walking down a hall of many doors with no windows,

is my decision to make, but if i could have a helping hand?

a caring word or phrase would make this choice so much more

bearable.

Please let me take your-

I'd like to say I am strong willed and courageous

but inside I know

you can see right through it and all my pretenses

and sense my weakened heart whose beats are so

hesitant that I doubt even my existence to you.

Have I chosen this way wrongly?
This path of deteriorating grey ?
I've lost the compass and the map

or never had it at all.

There is a pressure in my chest waiting to burst out any moment

like a voice weakly calling out to you and to me

There's a blockage in my view or a million paths tangled

like thorns lashing out at you

or latching onto me

Please let me take your-

What is this future you see?
A possibility you don't want to share with me

Why can't we go back to before decisions were ours

When the world was big, and bright,

and we could see one road untangled

When we could hold-

Please let me take-

It's something I've been wanting to say deep inside

confused by a myriad of superficial thoughts

a web of chains, events bound to distract

and yet this hidden thought keeps calling out to you and to me

So which door do I choose?

This, decision so heartbreaking like tearing the wings off a bird

is my choice to make, but if I could know your answer?
Would the path I take lead me away from you, a constant ache asks me

so despairingly.

I'd like to see us both walk the same bright white path

because I know

you can see right through all my pretenses

and sense my needful heart whose beats are so

hesitant in their existence until they see

the bright white that we can walk to.

Please Let me take-

Please let me take your hand

And let's walk ahead of that time before decisions were ours

When we can finally smile in our decisions

and our path is cleared.

Because the pressure in my heart will no longer be

bursting out to the world to share it's bright white

against the deteriorating grey

of the other lost paths.

In which...

The sun does shine
on this withered, shrunken hand
along with a breeze
a contradiction
a pale blue sky and scents as fresh
as the rain we wait to fall
from or veins, our hearts
a malediction
a pale blue song from birds
as benign as words
malign from you
The sun does shine
on this pretty, scarring hand

It's amazing how just walking into a Starbucks can make one feel so inadequate sometimes. :-)

Randoseru Time~

As some of my friends know, I recently ordered a Japanese backpack for my little brother on Ebay. It being my first time buying something so expensive from a "non-company", I was a bit worried when i couldn't track the package on its way here.

Luckily, it came in the mail today! Imagine my surprise waking up in th emiddle of the day, a pounding headache and sore throat, and seeing a big box on my computer chair! Needless to say, thoughts on my cough went out our broken window as I immediately set to demolishing the wrapping around my baby brother's new Randoseru!

Smaller than I expected, but it fits all his school supplies and then some! He seemed pretty excited to get all his stuff in there too, (all giggles and everything). I bet that once i start making him some cute obento, he'll be able to fit that in there too, or he can just carry it.

Now all it needs is a hand made Ben 10 keychain to hang on the side! ;D

Bad, terrible Vivi

Take me away

Take me away from such a world
where children cry for things easily avoided
for something lost, or stolen.

Take me away,
to a place where skies are endless,
to where arms are at their warmest
and a smile can fix everything that's broken

I'm tired of this repetition
this endless expedition
into the darkness of one's heart
and how such a thing can lead to more

Take me away from such a world
where lovers hate each other
where families stab one another

Take me away,
to a place where one sleeps easy
a place where life is lived happy
and hands are used for holding things one love.

Please dear angel, dear star in hazy skies
heal the times long tarnished
by the fear and anger hate's brandished
and take me away from such a world

Man, i have the worst acid reflux at the moment! It feels like my tummy is trying to eat itself! Dx