Wednesday, March 18, 2009

In which I gave you my wings... Dialogue of a Tearful Butterfly and its Beloved Boy

Iridescent eyes looked into black, and a small smile appeared on his face.

“I don’t want to be selfish.” he whispered, his voice as soft ad quiet as a gentle breeze, “But… I’ve always wanted you to see only me.”

“Let go of your ambitions, forget about your past
and look at only me until I die.
I promise it won’t be too long,
remember butterflies only live for a few days.”

A silence followed, and he looked away, “I am… a terrible person, to ask for such a thing. That thing which you aim, it’s important, right? And here I am, life after life, distracting you from it. But…”  He looked back up at the other boy, eyes desperate and filled with a love and longing that spanned lifetimes, “You are not happy like this! Every time, every time I look for you, you’re not happy.

“And when you see me and I touch your face you smile! How could that be a lie in my eyes!? I gave you my wings, and I’ll give them again only to see you smile! Just say you love me! Say you love me and I will be yours again…”

He became quiet, and his thinning hands clasped the boy’s strong ones, “If I have to wait another lifetime to feel your love again, I will.” the butterfly whispered, bringing their hands up to his lips and kissing the beloved fingers.

He was becoming thin, though. His life and colors becoming grayer and grayer, blending into the black and white background of the forgotten valley.

“I want to wait, and my heart wants to wait, but my soul… “ And he couldn't say it. His soul would shatter after so much use. After so many rejections.

“What would you do?” he asked softly, brokenly, “With such a love, do you think I should give you up? I want to see the butterflies only with you..”

The boy only took his hands away, despite the pulling in his heart, how he wanted to take the other in his arms and never let him go. It was still too confusing, how anybody could have a love so strong as the person before him. It was almost transcendent. and damning at the same time.

Finally, he looked at the one before him, black eyes meeting eyes as dusty ad colorful as a dragonfly’s wings, or a butterflies, “I have a mission that even love cant hinder.” he said, and his heart almost bled at the look on the other’s face. A mixture of aguish and love, and all kinds of emotions that a mere boy could never understand, all hidden behind a smile.

“Is love not your mission?” the butterfly asked softly.

“No.” He replied. Short and to the point. He didn't think he would be able to say anything else. Not with that look on the others face, the now closed expression in his eyes. But he continued, knowing he was right, but hating himself for every word. Why could the other not understand!? “You have wasted your time, searching for something that doesn't exist.”

The butterfly’s lips only curled into a sad smile, almost bitter, but too sweet and in love to be anything but understanding, “It’s not wasted time… not when it was with you.“ Colorful eyes watched as his boy walked away.

“At least… I did get to see you one last time. And…”

A cough erupted from his mouth, and he covered his lips with one hand, hiding the foamy blood that began to gather from his lungs.

The boy didn't notice, and kept walking. All the butterfly could do was watch sadly and lovingly as the most beloved in his heart walked away once more. just like every other lifetime, each and every one.


And the butterfly fell from the sky.



Wow, deppressingness. This is actually not a scene i was planning to put into the story I began writing. The story itself is very depressing, and as hinted above, the boy leaves the butterfly, and the butterfly dies. Very depressing, but what can i say? I’m a very depressing person. Anyway… After writing this, I might just decide to put it in… Depends…

Can anyone guess which character was modeled after me? X3

Bet you can’t~