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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

In Which...

This, like walking down a hall of many doors with no windows,

is my decision to make, but if i could have a helping hand?

a caring word or phrase would make this choice so much more

bearable.

Please let me take your-

I'd like to say I am strong willed and courageous

but inside I know

you can see right through it and all my pretenses

and sense my weakened heart whose beats are so

hesitant that I doubt even my existence to you.

Have I chosen this way wrongly?
This path of deteriorating grey ?
I've lost the compass and the map

or never had it at all.

There is a pressure in my chest waiting to burst out any moment

like a voice weakly calling out to you and to me

There's a blockage in my view or a million paths tangled

like thorns lashing out at you

or latching onto me

Please let me take your-

What is this future you see?
A possibility you don't want to share with me

Why can't we go back to before decisions were ours

When the world was big, and bright,

and we could see one road untangled

When we could hold-

Please let me take-

It's something I've been wanting to say deep inside

confused by a myriad of superficial thoughts

a web of chains, events bound to distract

and yet this hidden thought keeps calling out to you and to me

So which door do I choose?

This, decision so heartbreaking like tearing the wings off a bird

is my choice to make, but if I could know your answer?
Would the path I take lead me away from you, a constant ache asks me

so despairingly.

I'd like to see us both walk the same bright white path

because I know

you can see right through all my pretenses

and sense my needful heart whose beats are so

hesitant in their existence until they see

the bright white that we can walk to.

Please Let me take-

Please let me take your hand

And let's walk ahead of that time before decisions were ours

When we can finally smile in our decisions

and our path is cleared.

Because the pressure in my heart will no longer be

bursting out to the world to share it's bright white

against the deteriorating grey

of the other lost paths.

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