Saturday, June 27, 2009

In Which Job Opportunity, Here I come!

As said in the title, I was gifted with a job opportunity last night by my uncle and his old coworker and friend. I have to say that I'm extremely excited about it. Despite it being very far away from where I live, it's still a job. I can always but a small car later, or if I get my way, a moped. Though I still have to learn how to drive one >.>

If I get it, I will be working in the kitchen of a convalescent home as a helper. I really do hope I get it. I've been aching for a job since I stopped working at Boething Nursery.

Wish me luck, guys!

Monday, June 22, 2009

In Which Boredom begins to Kill

I am so.. BORED. It's only been two days and already I'm starting to get restless. Having a friend around helps a bit, but when we're each doing our own thing, the depression comes back.

I can't even write. I keep trying to go back to the Alchemist, but I end up daydreaming instead. It's also no help that one of my characters keeps getting thrust from his story and put up against random things like... video games, or comedy shows. The man is DARK, for the love of the Goddess! He'll never go into a comedy! The thought alone makes my spine writhe in horror.

Suffice to say that I despise crossovers in any of my fandoms. Even of my own characters.

Yes. the lack of stress makes me moody. Or maybe... I'm even MORE stressed because I have nothing to do. I feel like a crippled coonhound once having experienced the thrill of the hunt beside his master, and now confined to being a complacent housedog. 

I think... I just called myself a Bitch. >.>

Anyway. I feel so out of place thinking that I'll never go to school again. Or... back to high school, anyway. I can only hope I get a job soon so I can start college. I really, really, REALLY need school. Actually, I think I might even end up a teacher. As bad as I am at public speaking, I feel the most comfortable in a classroom.

I might even find time to write when I'm not swamped with bratty kids' homework.

I have to say I LOVE classrooms.

Or maybe I'll become a librarian... Miels always did say that he could imagine me as a librarian. Though I think he meant for a whole other reason. Perv.

Sekshi Ribrarian! 8D

I've reverted to my 12 year old , OCD, ADD tendencies, it seems.

I actually woke up today at around 3 am and was too bored to go back to sleep. I don't know how that works, but eh... I guess I'm weird that way.

Well... I'm going to go back to reading fan-fiction and watching random anime. Perhaps something will inspire me to finish my own fan-fiction and continue the Alchemist.

And woah! I had no Idea I had so many watchers. It's kind of flattering actually, not to mention the reviews or remarks, or whatever they're called. Thanks guys for your support! Goddess knows how you guys can put up with me. ^_^

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

In Which... egh, i dont even know

Yesterday a star appeared in your eyes
Only I could see it
Only I can still
hear your voice calling out
within my heart for the other half of you

Yesterday the clouds covered up your heart
Only I could feel it
Only I can still
see it beating within my own ever time

Spanning distance, 'cross all time
through the armor of our bodies
inside mine.
My soul awaits your company
yours awaits mine.

Yesterday I heard a whisper in your ear
that you didn't hear
that you can still
not understand my voice
calling out for your other half of me

Yesterday a rainbow crossed my pathway
You couldnt see it
You still can't
see my face within the crowd
of our mortality.

Spanning distance, 'cross all time
through the armor of our bodies
inside mine.
My soul awaits your company
yours awaits mine.

Our hands reaching out to empty space
searching for the other half of
Something we can't touch
through the armor of our bodies.

Yesterday I saw a flower fall on stone
Only I could see it
Only I can still
see your name engraved on my heart
calling out for my other half of you.

ahaha~ depression continues! >..> this is what i do when im depressed. Make fun of myself and write poetry. Add me to the Emo List. -_-

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

In Which, Can you?

Can you hear
Those words are hesitant and
softly sing to me?

Despite their volume
They stay behind and hide amongst
surface scattered notes
that forget them.

Can you see
those smiles are broken and entice
attention from you?

Despite their weakness
There's no look back and plead for
compassion in return
for the virtue

Busy nights are etched across them.
broken letters that don't scar
the surface of star cut eyes
and indecisive moments
that forget them.

Can you feel
the heavy shackles wrapped around
those all too thin hands?

Despite their burden
they keep on playing softly
surface scattered notes
that forget them.

Can you love
the treated heart and soul that
needs compassion?

If you say you will
There's no look back and regret
to inform the bound up heart
that there's no song
to sing.

Eh... I feel under appreciated lately. Completely useless and alone... and what's worse is I don't even feel like talking to anybody. I want to talk, but then i get moody and it just makes things awkward, so I'd rather not.

Soon I'll be able to move on, I hope, and find my way. Because I'm lost and can't seem to think much about anything except the dead end I have just walked into. Sometimes, epiphanies aren't always a good thing. I somehow wish I had stayed oblivious to what I know feel... But anyway... I hope you like the poem.