In Which...I am sick!! Oh noes!!

Just as the title says...I am sick. *gasp*On friday I woke up with the most horrible backache I've ever had since I fell out of that tree in sixth grade...and that's saying a lot. Well anyway, I braved through this ordeal over the weekend, stoically taking the horrible as bravely as possible.

The end of the weekend, though, brought a whole new set of problems, mainly getting ready for school. Not only was I being attacked by agonizing back pain, I was also coming on with the flu! ..or a cold, or whatever... The bottom line is that neither is pleasant...and just befor Thanksgiving, too!

But I promise I wont succumb to this bug! I will bravely stare the sickness down, and I will triumph, using all the Wiccan powers I have!...including eating lots of onion and hot peppers.


And for another poem I wrote during breakfast...

His eyes reflect like mirror shards
lost by the Snow Queen.
He is beautiful
but only seeing the ugliness of the world
he shatters every time
You take him.
Mosaic of my breaking love
my breath ghosting over
eyes as sharp as glass.
Perfect seeing only evil
ice flowing through his veins
until they reach his heart.
He becomes mine.

In Which...

Let's look up at the sky together
holding hands, holding...
I can see the horizon from far away,
the blinding sunlight over us.
Close your eyes and see the sun
through the eyelids of our dreams.
Butterfly rainbows
dove feather clouds
Carrying us over shrouds
of doubt and out to sea
on ships with sails as white as snow.
Because we're holding hands, holding...
And your smiles are enough
transcending over tragedy and grief
your tears and sweat rewarded
as we look at the horizon
traveling to the horizon
on our ships with sails as white as snow.
We are almost there
so lets keep holding hands,
laughing and praying that they dont sink
before we get to see the next sunrise
with our eyes closed.

In Which *GLORY* My Internet (...) Is Back

And therefore I will finally post pictures that i took yesterday. This is a typical day in the life of me, Vivi.

me!

... and my asian slave! no lol

*huggles*

*huggles both of them* Break-dancing beast!

Oh my god~ Im so scary, she was horrified lol She's so nice

Hola! Me llamo Dora!My sweet Dark liquor

XD ...please... you must take pictures!Hiro! no, its not

. lol cutest couple in the whole damn schoolmy secretary!

In which I lose another ounce of my patience and move one step closer to committing mass murder from a neurotic breakdown. (11/18/08)

Once more it seems that my family is out to institutionalize me, because unless they really are clueless, then I am just crazy. I know that I have no patience for people, and teachers and my friends will tell you this straight out. I don’t like you. Why else would I spend my days writing in search for the deeper meaning of people’s idiocy?

Well this is beside the point…or actually right on point. Most teenagers go home after school relieved, seeking to relax from a stressful day of classes, nightmare-inducing teachers (or so they say. In my opinion, they should just suck it up and move along), and the drama of teenage life (O-M-G she said what!?). I on the other hand, dread coming back home. It is not that I have abusive parents or anything like that, its just that they literally drive me crazy. As literally crazy as one can get and still be able to write cohesively.

Now I will tell you what happened today: I come home from fashion merchandising class, hungry, tired, and hoping that for once, someone home had listened to me and cooked the leftover ground beef I had left in the kitchen on Sunday. Yes it has been two days…Goddess help me Mrs. West. Needless to say, my wish was not granted, and once I asked my mother if she was going to do it, she just answered, “Cook it then.”

Did I mention I was hungry and tired? So I, in my tired confusion, asked my grandmother, with all the subtlety one uses with a kindergartener, to roll up the ground beef into little pieces and cook it in a pan. Then I went to go take a nap. What does my grandmother do? Certainly not what I asked her to. She mixed in chunks of onion and tomatoes into the meat and then came to wake me up to tell me that there was something wrong with the meat.

Besides being two days old, what else could be wrong with it, I wonder? So I go to the kitchen, grouchy and still tired, and can you blame me? So I tried to salvage the mixture of ground meat and gigantic chunks of…whatever, essentially doing what I asked her to do for me. Can you believe she wanted to put baking soda, into it? The meat, however, was not in the mood to cooperate, sticking to the pan, crumbling away and leaving burnt pieces of onion, not even trying to retain any resemblance to a meatball.

By now, all forms of patience are dissolving, like the meatballs I’m trying to cook, and I notice that my grandmother, in all her apologetic glory, sits herself down and starts doing crossword puzzles. That was the straw that broke the camel…or in my case, penguin-rabbit hybrid’s back. “You know what? You do it!” I declared, throwing the spatula down, “You had the brilliant idea to add to my recipe. You know so much about cooking to defy my methods. You can finish this!” In Spanish, of course.

By now my grandmother is giving the whole, ‘I will do anything you want, I am just a poor old woman’ act, and that aggravates me all the more. But just because I have given up on cooking the disaster of a meal myself, doesn’t mean I will let her have free reign, otherwise, there wouldn’t be much of a meal left. Now I will say, my grandmother is not a bad cook. She really does know what she’s doing…with recipes she’s known forever. But give her something new, and it’s a recipe (pun intended) for disaster and another debilitating headache. She was going to use oil to cook the meatballs. Oil with ground beef!

Another cause for headaches? People who question the reasons for my racism against my own ethnic group, Latino Americans, and prejudice against the clans of stupid people at school just piss me off to no end. All the complaints about drama, so called teenage romance, and the unfairness from teachers is enough to make me sick. I’m not saying I’m above drama. I have had fights with fellow students, and did get punched in the face over petty anger on my part. But you know what? I let it go. *Audience gasps* Seriously, I know we were both in the wrong, and I was the one that lost…badly, I admit.

But the grudges, the smack-talking, the gossiping, the sheer beaner-ness of everything is to say the least, tiring. Have a horrible teacher? Ever tried to shut up and let the teacher actually teach? And if that’s not it, then suck it up, cuz they hold your grades in their hands and can tip the scale in your favor toward success or away into working night shifts at Wal-mart. Have drama? Take your head out of your posterior and look around at the pretty flowers, because I guarantee its not as bad as you think it is…unless you’re pregnant. Then you got to hit yourself upside the head for being stupid enough to have sex in the first place. And the much laughed at and most idiotic comeback: “But I love him!”… Just no. Shut. The. Heck. Up. Because you’re killing my much needed brain cells. You were raped you say? Day after pill, oh martyred one. Jeez.

Enough ranting… All I have to say in the end, is that I learned a new lesson today. Do not expect stupid people to understand the meaning of life. Do not expect stupid people to suddenly grow some brain cells. And most important: Do not let stupid people drag you down into insanity. In the wise words of Ron White, “You can’t fix stupid.”

In Which a Lacking Internet Renews My Creativity (11/17/08)

Ironically the lack of internet has renewed my creative flow. Today I was able to write a whole page of a project that I had left on the backburner since middle school. Not to say that I think having no internet is a good thing, on the contrary, I feel the pangs of withdrawal every few hours and I still miss my roleplay partners.

In light of my new vigor for writing on this project I was unable to write a well though out blog for today, besides it being another normal day. As always, my computer teacher is somewhat neurotic so I will not be writing long blog. I do not want to be caught and have my head disattached from my body and the rest of me dismembered for being on the internet (porn).

In Which The Boredom Continues… (11/16/08)

And still the Internet (porn) does not work. My mother and I are so bored that we decided to clean things. Imagine… We are doing housework *collected gasps*

Therefore, in order to relieve boredom, my mother has been sending me to run errands. Which incidentally, always end up with me being followed by some unknown male. Like today for example. I went grocery shopping. All went well, as I got everything I had on the list, maybe going a bit overboard and having to leave some things behind. Otherwise I was able to get a good 90% of the things listed. I had a good cashier, also because the line was not long, or nonexistent. The cart gave me a little trouble on the way home, and as I was passing by a bus returning children from Sunday school, too. Coincidence? I think not. It seems the Christian god is still out to thwart us pagans in the world,

Well, anyway, as I was coming back home from grocery shopping, tugging along a goddess knows how heavy cart, when this strange guy comes along and asks me if he can help me. Now I’m not a prejudice person…ok yes I am, I don’t like Mexicans, and this guy had Apocalypto and cholo written all over his face… and his neck, and back, and arms…So I just smiled and went my merry way, trying to keep a safe distance. Imagine my surprise when he walks right up to my apartment building and opens the door for me… talk about awkward. Then he helps me take the cart down the stairs without breaking the eggs. All this was done without me saying a word, as, ironically, I’m very adept at acting like a mute. Turns out the guy is friends with the crazy dude next door who does drugs and threatened to kill everybody in the apartment building. Who says my judgment is flawed?

In Which The Fires Of My Land Silence Me… (11/15/08)

Because otherwise, I’d be online talking up a storm, looking up colleges, role-playing, or looking for anyway out of this god-forsaken… I admit it; I’m a nerd. But anyways, imagine my surprise when I woke up to smell ash up my nostrils…not very pleasant. Not only that, but somehow the fire made it so the Internet (is for porn), the television, and the telephone don’t work. So there’s no possible way to communicate with anybody unless I go outside. If you know me you know that is not an option. I don’t talk to my neighbors. I am cut off from society. Oh the tragedy.

So I have no way to vent now. No way to explain how awesome my night was yesterday. I mean, I went with two of my friends after classes to a curry restaurant. Though I can’t help but feel a little bad because I always end up mooching off of them. But we always have fun in the end.

Anyway. One would not believe how bored I was all day. It seems there really not much to do on the computer when there isn’t any Internet (porn). I keep wondering if maybe I should have gone to the library, but my recent incidents with sunlight-induced headaches takes away my doubts. I am not an outside person. Or I am, but only if it is dusk or its so cloudy it might as well be evening. I hope I’m not one of those vampire kids, but then again I figure I’m not otherwise I would already be becoming paralyzed or something. Thank goodness I am not, then. But back to the subject of how bored I am.

What angers me the most is the fact that the day right after I started this blog, the Internet (porn) decides to bite the dust. Meaning, of course, no updating of the blog. Until then, I will keep writing on my word processor and post these blogs once my net is up and running. Vivi out.

In Which Stress Attacks The Mind

Now as most teenagers know, high school is filled with stress. Whether from the actual school work or from relationships that don't go exactly as planned, every person, even outside of high school has their fair share of stress, and I am no different.

I had not really complained about stress throughout most of my life, being a sort of laid back(lazy) easygoing person. Though now I am assaulted by the tornado that is college applications and the search for financial aid. I am not going to go all out and say that I'm poor, though at school I usually make a joke of my financial problems, but I will go ahead and say that I need all the help I can get to make it into college. I do not want to end up living off of welfare for the rest of my life or sharing an apartment with my mother. The strain on trying to become independent without mooching off of her in the meanwhile is enough to start giving me migraines...literally.

Now the start of my stress induced headaches came about sometime in the beginning of the year when I realized, Hey, I'm a senior, I have to go to college next year...imagine that. Well, anyway, this shocking revelation led me to the college office, where i dove into the haystack of colleges, researching and trying to figure out just what I want to spend the rest of my life doing as a career. I, who was used to just following instructions, had to go out and figure stuff out for myself. Talk about being out of my element.

First of all there's the problem of actually deciding on what career path to choose, whether culinary arts, since i love food, visual arts, since I like to paint, draw, etc., Music, because I like to sing, Literature, for my love of writing and reading, photography, because I like... well photography, or becoming a teacher because I like to torture small children...That was a joke. Anyway, there's the rush of finding your major so I can actually go to college, then there's the rush on finding a college.

I'm not going to say that I hate community colleges, but I know that If I start there, I will never get out of that. I know myself. I'm easygoing (lazy), passive, and don't like to stress too much(which makes my current predicament all the more stressful... and of course the family doesn't really help) So I really want to hurry up and find the college or university where I will be happy for the next four years, learning what I need to know to enjoy the next fifty or so years of my life. It's just that, the headaches make me giddy.